5 Steps to Reconnecting with the Boss of You

5 Steps to Reconnecting with the Boss of You

Let’s face it, we all need to reconnect with ourselves from time to time. Business, life, social and our internal maps overlap and have a need to be redefined so we stay on track. As your own boss it’s even tougher staying on track, especially when life happens.

Many years ago when I went though, what I called,  the death of my marriage it was like a whole life change that carried a heavy weight on my life and livelihood, which was my business. As a business owner, we are what we do. Our work defines us. So when stuff happens that throws us out of whack and makes us question life our business is always affected. Praying for someone else to just take the wheel doesn’t always have the quick response we wish for. This is coming first hand from my heart to yours.. 2019 has kicked much dirt in my face. The struggle became real. It still is but these steps help me and I wanted to share them. If we can take a step back routinely and redefine these things, we carry them in our back pocket as ammunition. They will serve us as a renewal we may need.



No is the first word we speak, yet as we age we find it so difficult to speak it out loud. We care too much about what other people will think of us rather than living with the guilt of should’ve, could’ve and would have’s. Regardless of what your boundaries are they are valid. If you don’t know your boundaries are or want to know where your boundaries derived from stay tuned for an up close and personal guide to that!


Anger is just another emotion. We often mistake it for one of the many other human emotions. We break it down to feeling hurt that something didn’t go our way. Our ego turns it into anger because it’s easier to pin our problems on someone or something else. Not everyone needs to hear our anger or us speaking our mind. Anger is passion rooted inside us and connects to our boundaries that are being crossed. Following your anger will lead you to your passion.


If you keep a journal, I want you to have fun with this one… Write yourself a letter. Bullet point three adjectives you most recently used in your self talk where you were disappointed with a situation and its outcome. Now stop the BS! Re-address that letter to your Mother, sister, best friend… would they take that talk from you? Would you talk to them that way? Very often we need to practice kindness to ourselves most.


Let’s face it, the human body is a lot of maintenance. We all are human. It’s easy to not want to do the right things. We get caught up in schedules, taking care of others and putting ourselves last. The reality is that 30 minutes a day is nothing. Preserve your mind and body by nurturing you. Respecting yourself and spending time with someone you love. Feed your body and soul with not only nutrients that are healthy but mental reconditioning it needs.


We all have relationships that have ended in our lives. They ended dramatically because boundaries were broken or ended in silence or went away with a ghosting effect that haunts us to why. Reconnect with two people: One where the relationship ended harshly. You absolutely do not want this person in your life but call them. Tell them you wish them well and you are sorry things had to end the way they did but you know it was for the best and your relationship served its purpose for what it was. The other is someone where nothing happened but you lost contact with. Reach out. Tell them you think of them often, you know life is busy and you don’t want to take up too much time in their life, but you wanted to set a time/date to reconnect because you honored your relationship. Obviously one of these calls is easier to do. If you cannot find a way to call or speak write a letter, send an email, or journal the letter and never send it. Trust me, it will have a grand affect no matter which way you choose! And as a p.s. or reminder on the first one: Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. Allowing that emotion that connects us with hurt or anger only serves us the same damn way every time we think of that person. So, forgive, let go, trust yourself to a better life you deserve!

Not everything in life can be fixable but we can guarantee we will always be the boss of ourselves. So how we think, act, do and be is on us. “Sometimes the darkest times in our lives happen so that we have nowhere else to look but within ourselves for these very things.” ~ Heather Lefort